You know you are a NICU nurse if....

Well, I didn't start this blog with the intention of blogging something everyday, but so far, I think I have. I just couldn't pass this up. As most of you know, I am a NICU nurse. One of my fellow NICU nurse friends emailed this to me and I had to share. I love my babies and I love what I do. However, like any job, it comes with it's own territory of things non-NICU people don't understand. Some people may not get it, but believe me, this is absolutely hysterical! I can say with 100% honesty that everything on this list has applied to me at some point in my career. Keep in mind that even through all the frustrating times, I love my kiddos with all my heart!

42 things that remind you that you are a NICU nurse

1. You've eaten hamburger patties bigger than most of your patients.
2. You define colors by the color of stool you've seen- i.e.baby poop green/yellow
3. You don't understand why talking about sticking a needle in a baby's head is making other people at the dinner table ill
4. At one time or another have had breast milk, poop or urine on your work clothes
5. You have affectionately called a patient cletus the fetus,wimpy white boy, troll or FLK (funny lookin' kid) in report
6. You can change your patient's bed linens with one handwhile holding your patient in the other
7. You can make an IV arm board out of some 4x4 gauze and tape
8. You've almost caught your hair on fire while in your patient's bed...a.k.a. radiant warmer
9. You've used a sock or a piece of tape for a restraint
10. You check out the scalp veins, cap refill and fontanels on afriend's new baby
11. You use a cotton ball to obtain urine samples
12. You use saran wrap to keep your food fresh and yourpatient's warm
13. You think all crying babies need Benadryl, Versed orintubation
14. You think the pulse oximeter, CPAP and those crappy nosticking leads were created by the devil
15. You have ever shown a doctor a green residual while they were eating
16. You have obtained a 10cc residual when the patient only gets 1cc
17. You have put an intensive care patient in a swing
18. You don't get excited if your patient has a heart rate of 180
19. You do chest compressions with two fingers
20. Most of your meds come in TB/1cc syringes
21. You prepare your patient's bath water in a Dixie cup
22. You draw blood from your patient's heel
23. You use a rubber band for a tourniquet
24. You've seen two complexes on the EKG screen and not been excited-you merely pat your patient on the butt and it's all good
25. Newborn babies look like preschoolers to you
26. You tell people what you do and they think you sit around and rock babies all day
27. When you tell people what you really do they start to cry and/or vomit
28. You have assisted with surgery on your patient in their bed and on the unit
29. You have at one time or another in the heat of frustration threatened to throw your patient in the trashcan
30. You have considered using duct tape to hold a pacifier in a screaming baby's mouth
31. You have met your patient's father, mother's boyfriend, and husband all in one day
32. When you get excited over a baby's 10g weight gain
33. Patients that you can't hold in one hand are too big for you to take care of
34. When getting blood (or anything else) on your freshly made bed stresses you out more than when it gets on you
35. When you truly believe that your patients listen to you when you're yelling at them from across the room to save themselves because you're busy feeding another baby
36. When your pregnant friends hit 28 weeks you relax, because that's practically term
37. It takes 30 minutes to run a 20 cc bolus
38. You can get away with calling your patients Mr. Crankypants--to their faces
39. You empty catheters into a medicine cup
40. After baths, you get the fun of giving all your patients Mohawks
41. Constant alarming doesn't faze you, but you can't get the lullabies from the mobiles out of your head
42. You have made a mental note that no matter how stupid people are they still know how to get their groove on